By Christine McLean
Many times in life we say we only need to trust. And I agree, it's true. BUT - It's easier said than done. How do you trust when you never learnt how to in the first place? How do you trust when nothing ever seems to work out? Many times in life I decided I'm was just going to trust. And many times I fell flat on my face, in work, in family, in friends even in myself.
Nothing ever felt like it was going right, over the last few years I have followed trust. The definition of trust is 'A firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something'. The only way you can really understand this statement is to learn what trust doesn’t mean first. “You have to fall down regularly before you can learn how to walk”.
The same goes for trust you have to work out what trust isn’t before you have ability to work out what trust is to you. Trust is different for everyone. Until you really trust yourself, how can you know what trust is outside of yourself? You start by testing your own trust first.
A Journey Of Self Trust
It's that special moment of surrender and letting go when things start falling into places again.
For years I was frightened of myself - suffering a head injury - can means you have no understanding of simple comprehension. It’s a scary world as an adult not to know what’s real any more. It’s terrifying to not have control of your own mind, to fear your own thoughts to experience death, and then have death walk your side for years ahead. I had no trust in me and I no longer trusted the world I walked in.
Each day was like living in a war zone - feeling like you were going to die due to the mental health struggles you faced
- PTSD - BIPOLAR SYMPTOMS - SCHIZOPHRENIA SYMPTOMS - MANIC DEPRESSION - AGORAPHOBIA
ALL CAUSED BY A BRAIN HAEMORRHAGE
It took days, months and years to figure life out one day at a time. Only it was my doctors that lit the match that set my mind on fire where I thought I would never trust again. “They said you may never be able to do anything alone you may always need help and support in everything you do for the rest of your life. “
- I was broken, with every visit to the doctors of hope I lost all trust and self belief in the people that were supposed to be there for me.
- I only had my child memory and nothing but pictures and images of adult life but everything else was a blur.
- I started by trusting the food I eat, if it tasted good and made me feel good then I trusted it
- I started with my daily routine if it felt good I trusted it
- I started with how the world around me made me feel. If it made me feel good, laugh, happy, rest then I trusted what I was experiencing.
I trusted people by how they acted around me, I learnt from my peers, my family and friends what felt good, I started to build trust. I also learnt over the years what made me feel bad and I didn’t trust it became a feeling of non trust like doubt, worry, fear, anxiety, loss of direction, feeling helpless - I couldn’t trust these moments as they made me feel low sad and lost.
The more I leaned into my feelings the more I started to learn what trust was outside of myself in the world around me. Next I had to learn to trust myself. “Trauma, pain, sadness are our teachers in this world. It's the wake up call to change who you are, it’s the struggle that is a wake up call to do life different, it’s a great way to learn even when it feels hard or hurts. “
If you learnt as a child or at some point in your life, perhaps even before you were born that this planet is not a safe place to be - it’s time to change that thought. “This world is what you make of it, you're in charge of your destiny “.
If you've learnt at some point (unconsciously) in your life that life's always a struggle, automatically you'll always find yourself struggling to a certain degree. If you've learnt that you're not safe on this planet due to previous traumatic experiences, no matter where you are or who you're with, you'll never feel completely safe or protected unless you change your thinking.
Our unconscious thoughts are wired to recreate the same experiences over and over again which means if we don't release trauma physically on a cellular level, energetically, and emotionally we keep living in the past, keep living the same trauma keep recreating the same problems until we change the way we think.
We even might have fragmented parts of ourselves - parts of yourself that feel trapped in our pain, in our loss, in hurt - we are to change our thoughts to change our reality. I had moments in my life where I felt like going insane, where I felt I was trying and doing everything nothing but worked.
Learning to give up on the fight for individual truth I learnt to surrender to my thoughts in order to create new thoughts. I made a promise to let go of thinking and to trust in something that made no sense to me at the time.
Meditation can be defined as a set of techniques that are intended to encourage a heightened state of awareness and focused attention. Meditation is also a consciousness - changing technique that has been shown to have a wide number of benefits on psychological well-being.
Meditation over the years has helped me to name the difficulties that created mistrust and how to use meditation to build the bridge of trust again. Meditation lead me to breathwork Practices where I found the root cause of every self sabotaging thought within myself, of every doubt and fear, the cause of every drama and distraction I kept creating for myself.
Self-awareness shows that research suggests that when we see ourselves clearly, we can hold confident and experience more creativity, we make clear decisions build stronger relationships and communicate with ease. We’re less likely to lie, cheat or steal and we become great leaders of our own lives. It’s important to recognise, our psyche is so much deeper than we think, our unconscious remembers everything, and our souls are so much stronger than we can possible imagine! So what I'm really trying to say here is....
IF SOMETHING OR EVERYTHING IN YOUR LIFE DOESN'T WORK THE WAY YOU WANT IT TO - THERE'S A REASON FOR THAT!
And it's not because the universe is against you. Or people are against you. Or you're not as lucky as anyone else. Or, or, or...
“Mother Earth wants you to thrive and be free.
Happy, fulfilled and in bliss!”
Chances are though that there's something you may have learnt at a certain point in your life, that's keeping you from having that.
Now you ask "So what do I do?" Easy!
I TRUST in the power of intentions, affirmation, action, motivation.
- Make a conscious decision, set an intention of releasing anything that's keeping you from having the life you truly desire.
- Sometimes it's hidden in the memories we think are not even worth looking at since they seem to be so unimportant.
- WHY? Because anything and everything is possible!
- Own your struggle what is it teaching you? (and dare to look at it and FEEL it) in those areas of your life that are not working for you.
- Keep doing the work of going inwards, of unlearning and remembering...TRUST
Watch the beauty of life unravel itself
I love you and you’re absolutely possible
PS.: Remember - One step at a time! Change your thoughts change your world.