Tejal Kutarekar ©
"Meet success with gratitude, and disaster with a positive attitude." - Tejal Kutarekar
Dictionary meaning of self-esteem; "A good opinion of your own character and abilities." Cambridge dictionary; "Belief and confidence in your own ability and value." Let's deep dive into what the Wikipedia has to say about this; "Self-esteem is an individual's subjective evaluation of their own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself (for example, "I am unloved, "I am worthy") as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame." In my view; "What you think about yourself when you are by yourself." Self-esteem is a muscle. Some are born with a high self-esteem muscle and some are with a low self-esteem muscle. To bring this low self-esteem muscle to high self-esteem muscle we need to work a little extra on it. But, What creates a bubble of low self-esteem? Failures Rejections Setbacks Wrong choices and decisions Deceptions People's views, opinions or judgments Disturbing memories Shattering experiences Victim of abuse or violence Self-pity Self-blame Victim mentality Labelling by near ones Toxicity Lack of self-love and self-knowing Wrong thinking and mindset Self-limiting beliefs Upbringing Process Or else, naturally due to the distinctive psychological mechanism of all human beings. We can add endless reasons in the list above to know the root cause of having low self-esteem, but our prime focus shall be on its antidotes. What are those? 1. Confront your perception. Situations and circumstances around you may not change, but if you change your perception about a particular feeling, it results in a whole new shift in the emotions attached to those feelings. 2. Get clarity about your own values and principles. It is very easy to get influenced by other's values and principles. Once you know yours, you understand where you deserve to be! 3. Always have a habit of asking thought-provoking questions to your self-sabotaging beliefs. This will let you think twice before you accept and start believing any self-limiting belief. 4. Stop feeling inferior when you see someone more capable with their skills and talents, more powerful when it comes to social and financial standing. Someone will always be superior to us in certain aspects, but this doesn't make us inferior at all. 5. Do some self-assessment to know yourself better. Know your flaws, weaknesses, and strengths. Make a strategy to work on your weaknesses with the strengths that you are blessed with.
Be flawsome! - Marisa Peer
6. If you are being unique then you are giving out something in the world that did not exist before. Be yourself! 7. You deserve admiration over small victories. This booster dose of appreciation is the best motivation you can ever give to yourself. 8. Choose to stay away from any kind of toxicity let it be physical or mental. Say NO to toxicity! 9. Summarize in your journal your choices and decisions that brought out the best possible outcomes. This will be your source of inspiration to sail through a self-doubting phase. 10. This may sound gross, but practice self-acceptance as a part of the self-love journey. 11. Empathy helps to understand the other person better, but it helps to understand yourself as well. Be empathetic towards yourself before others. 12. Constant comparison will only result in unwanted outcomes. Remember, someone out there is wishing for the life you are living. Hence, count your blessings! 13. What people say about you is only important when whatever they say is for your good. Be open to constructive criticism that helps you to outgrow in life. Rest voices and labels are just not meant for you, so, ignore them! 14. Knowledge is the best powerful weapon to feel confident when it comes to putting forward your point confidently. Equip yourself with the best knowledge possible regarding all aspects of life. 15. Working on your speaking abilities enhances the convincing power of your words. Therefore, work on polishing your communication skills. 16. Figure out your definition of success. Success need not be a significant victory. Every step from your side counts for that big victory. 17. "Meet success with gratitude, and disaster with a positive attitude." - Tejal Kutarekar 18. Self-esteem and self-confidence are correlated. Once you work on self-esteem you will see a drastic improvement in your self-confidence, eventually. 19. You need not know everything about everything. But always be eager to know that you do not know. 20. Come to terms with the past. I know, it's hard, but once this settlement is done, there is no other liberating feeling in the world.
Now, a mental exercise for you.
Grab a pen and paper, and jot down the below-mentioned questions on the paper/journal one by one.
Meditate for a while and try to pen down genuine answers that will come directly from your heart. Are you ready? I'm sure, you are! 1. What do you think about yourself? Is this thinking helpful or deteriorating for you? 2. What exactly hampered your self-esteem? 3. How can you change your perspective towards incidents that hampered your self-esteem? 4. What actions are needed and suitable for you to rebuild your self-esteem? 5. How adamant you are about working on your self-esteem? You see, how easy it is to reshape this important muscle. Well, it is not easy, it needs a lot of patience, work, and motivation to keep going despite challenges that you may come across while working on it. But you are capable to keep moving forward despite all the odds that may come your way. Believing in your capability is the first step to start working on the most essential muscle of life. The muscle of self-esteem!
What do you think, is self-esteem a big deal? I am sure, it is not!
Hey There! This is Tejal Kutarekar. I am a Certified Life Coach and Entrepreneur by profession. Writing is something that is therapeutic for me. I love spreading self-awareness about emotional and mental health with the help of writing and composing poems. I am pleased to bring out my inner passion of guiding through writing with the help of the Empath to Empath platform. See you all soon with my content there.