I love my wonderful group and wanted to check in with you guys because hey....you are my tribe. I have recently been hurt and been in a situation which was extremely confusing and frustrating. I have been doing inner work recently and was doubting that it was getting anywhere. The truth is, I wasn't challenged enough so couldn't see the positive result of my efforts. I will say this, it took this experience of hurt and pain to see that I am actually at a stage of growth.
At one time, the subsequent weeks of my life would have been crazy and chaotic. I would be in tears, on the phone constantly and sit in a world of despair. Now, I feel sad but I know it's temporary, and I truly feel inner peace. I have the feeling from deep within - it's a calming feeling and one of which I have never felt before.
I realise that I am human with all the normal human emotions such as anger or fear. As I sit here typing I realise, I still have fears and worries, those thoughts of not feeling good enough or worthy, the difference is now I know it's my ego. I know I am worthy and it's ok to have those emotions as long as you handle them correctly.
Through this time I have never doubted my spirituality or the work I have been doing. I have looked at this situation with a fresh new outlook. I feel calmer and happy that my journey went this way instead of a toxic destructive old pattern.
I have gratitude in my heart and have realised my old self would typically proceed to close my heart and guard myself for protection, because of my fear of abandonment and rejection. I know now that is not the way, for that reason my heart remains open and my inner work will continue.
Doing the work has been stressful, scary, and unpredictable. It is also my saviour and the start of a new chapter.
I wanted to share with anyone whose energy has been disturbed lately by another. Keep your heart open and keep it moving. The universe has your back. Never lose sight of that. Keep reading and expand your mind. Drop the fear and live in your truth.
Love you all.