Ingrid is a single mom to two girls. She was born and raised in Northern Italy and currently resides in the Reno-Tahoe area. She is passionate about helping women find their worth. After a diagnosis she loves to empower women to set themselves free from toxic and abusive relationships.
I Am Ingrid
I am not a psychologist but I met many women, just like myself, that went through childhood trauma and many of them did not have a strong bond to their main caregivers as they were not emotionally available for them. As a result we become people pleasers. In my life until about a year ago I did nothing because I enjoyed it but I did things based on how much I would be appreciated and liked by others. From building my own home to buying cars, building my career, making experiences and….to choosing partners. That’s how I slipped into my toxic and abusive relationship of eighteen years.
When I met the father of my two girls he was a millionaire: obviously successful, fun, generous, a world traveler. I thought he would be a good fit. When you are used to doing things just to feel worthy or accepted you do not know how to set boundaries. You accept bad behaviors. You think you have to fit in and you think if you speak your truth you won’t be accepted. You are used to stepping back. You do not see the red flags because you are used to settling with the mediocre.
It is interesting that women like myself who went through childhood trauma and don’t have a great relationship with their main caregivers seem to attract partners with narcissistic behaviors. I stayed in that relationship for eighteen years. I was born and raised Roman Catholic and therefore I thought I had to persevere and try to make it work, but I felt like a bird in a cage. My partner had 100% control over everything. I became the person he wanted me to be. I did not know where to start to break free. But what I did know was that I did not want my girls to believe that this is what a healthy relationship looked like. The love for them was way stronger than the fear to finally break free.
It took me eighteen years of domestic battery to believe that this relationship was not what I deserved. The problem was money. Having left my career to follow my husband’s dreams around the world and taking care of our girls had left me with little to none financial backup. Besides that I never had access to our finances. I have always been in denial that economic abuse was a thing. Plus I was still depending on him for my immigration status. Yes, my situation was messed up. But I decided to find beauty in everything and to be grateful for what I had and not for what I was missing. I thought of all the resources that were available to me and that I could do something online, stay with my kids by working from home and make an income.
And so for once I listened to my intuition and followed a new friend on FB. She had built a massive business online by sharing her story and building her own brand. Little did I know I would also find a high vibe community that would cheer me on and show me what is possible if we only set our mind to it. Money is energy. Money gives us possibilities. Unfortunately too often I see women stay in toxic and abusive relationships because they are not financially independent and they do not know how to get out of it. They are in a state of mind that does not allow them to see what’s possible in life because they are surrounded by so much toxicity and negativity. Every woman and every mom is worth so much more than it was taught to them. They deserve to have a life of abundance and total freedom.
I am aching for all the women out there that think small, that stay in their comfort zone, even if they are aware that the environment they live in is toxic. Why? Because I was that woman. I have been living in survival mode for almost two decades. I wanted to share this part of my life, because it’s my story. Never be ashamed to share your story because it shaped you for who you have become. Keep sharing to empower and inspire others. I promise there will always be someone out there that needs to hear what you have to say.
Be brave. Stay strong. Be yourself.
Much love - Ingrid