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An Inevitable Phase Of Life

Tejal Kutarekar ©

When I think about the word transformation, I always visualize the process of becoming a butterfly from a Larva that consists of several stages with a patient process. But once this process is completed, a beautiful creature of nature takes birth.

You must be feeling like listening to the lecture on Lepidopterology? LOL!

Transformation is a process. It takes time as well as effort. It checks our persistence level.

It has the power to change us from within. As far as inspirational preaching is concerned, this is easy to say, but when we ought to go through this phase, we all stumble at least for a while until we are familiar and settled with the transformational phase.

Life throws this transformation phase several times to shape ourselves, to be the best version of ourselves. To make our lives best out of these exhaustive phases. The way we can’t foresee the next turn on the bumpy, twisty road, we can’t predict in advance when life would ask us to sit for the exam of transformation.

Therefore, I decided to pen some points to make this journey at ease with my own experiences. Let’s talk about that now…

But before I jump on the main points, I give you a secret trick here. Kind of a Quick Fix. I know, we all love quick fixes. Wink...Wink...

The trick is called “BAPI” (It is a code word to remember quickly.)



  • PLAN


When you are on the verge of the transformation phase...just try doing this!

Breath (Relax)

Accept (Mend with reality)

Plan (Pen down your thoughts)

Implement (Adopt the best possible optimistic outlook in the respective situation)

After discovering this effective code, I now deep dive to come up with some more effective steps that will surely help you practically to sail through transformation.


Generally, we all start thinking about how the journey was beautiful before the transformation kicked in instead of thinking about how to make a further path bearable. We get trapped in the loop of “would have been" thoughts. "If this had not happened, I would have been happier.",

"If I had not taken that decision, I would have been in a better situation". Frankly, it does not make any sense once a particular thing has happened. This toxic loop further demotivates our morale.

Whatever was bound to happen has happened. Not everything is in our control but whatever is... we shall try to focus on that.


Putting your thoughts on a piece of paper releases half of your stress. How can you find a path when the road in front of you is all filled up with negative chunks? Without clarity in thoughts and a bit of optimism, you can't ever find a midway or a solution to tackle the process. Writing is the best way to put together practical actions that you can take and keep aside the trash of negative things.

Declutter your thinking to bring clarity by penning down what bothers you.


Any process in this world is not as easy as we want it to be. The tougher the process, the better its outcomes. Be committed and consistent in your efforts. Enjoy the Journey and Trust the Destination.

Roll up your sleeves to take your best possible hard work. Best of luck with that!


Have you ever observed this? When something adverse happens to us, there is always a silver lining followed by some positive outcomes. Find out what best you can make out of the circumstances you are in. This is the spirit to always find a ray of hope to manifest positive results out of a negative trap.


When you are in the toughest phase, you feel sad, your professional productivity suffers, you struggle with your appetite, you isolate yourself from the world, you don’t feel like doing anything due to a lack of enthusiasm and energy, you don’t get good sleep, you feel collapsed, shattered, devastated or you feel emotionally, mentally drained, and exhausted.

During this time, some people around you may make you a soft target by showing pity.

They will let you feel more devastated than you actually feel. These people make the situation worse than it is. They never show you the brighter side of the situation, but let you feel that you have a bit of bad luck to have this phase. Stay away from such people as far as possible by closing the door to unwanted sympathy shows. At the same time open the door for those who stand by your side through thick and thin.


Do not judge yourself by being self-critical about how you are during this tiring process.

Do not identify yourself on the basis of your thoughts, thinking, or mindset during this phase. Because you are judging yourself based on not how you are but based on your notional personality that has taken birth only during the process of transformation.

Even I found it hard to be gentle with myself when I was evolving from the person I was to what I am now. Perhaps nobody will understand you during this time. Maybe, you will find yourself frustrated, confused, agitated, short-tempered, and impulsive. These emotions and feelings are temporary. They will vanish once you have crossed the dark tunnel. Therefore, don't be hard on yourself. There is a light at the end of every tunnel. You just need to be extra careful about how you drive through the tunnel.


We can not complete the transformation journey with the same attitude and mindset we had earlier.

That’s why it is necessary to introspect the current situation, how you are reacting to it, what actions you are taking, and how you are thinking about it. Be flexible and adaptable towards a changed mindset.

Naturally, we are all reluctant towards a change because change means stepping out of our comfort zone, and our brain hates this the most. It is not easy to get used to a new you. Self-acceptance requires time, patience, and understanding from your side.

Try to be your best companion.


People love to learn from the lives of strugglers to seek motivation in their own lives.

Be that one example for them. Your spirit during the storming phase decides how admirable your life story would be. Just set an example for others to get inspired!


We are not all in the same boat. We are neither on the same page in life.

It may happen that when you are experiencing transformation, people around you might seem luckier to you, happier than you. But you forget to pay attention to the fact that others might have already gone through the hard stuff to come to this point in their lives or some have not yet entered into this phase.

If you really love comparison then compare yourself with your past to see how much progress you have made so far, and how much you have evolved as a better person.

Your competition shall be only with your set benchmarks!


Resisting any kind of change is equivalent to resisting your self-growth.

Flexibility over rigidity always ensures progress. Transformations are there to change from who you are, to make you the person you are supposed to be, destined to be. The best lessons of life are learned during this tough time, provided you are adaptable enough to accept the change.


Transformation is a new innings for you to cherish. Therefore, it is inevitable that we have to mould our mindset and perception of life several times according to the situations. We have to leave some things behind, some memories behind, some people behind; not because we hate these things, we hate these memories, we hate these people, we are selfish, but just because these things, memories, people do not match with our vibrations, energy or wavelength any longer.

Before wrapping up I would like to mention a fantastic quote by someone i onsider most inspirational.

Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life - Steve Jobs.

With this beautiful quote, I sign off here.

I hope this article will be helpful. I have articulated the whole article after analyzing my life and people’s lives during transformation to sum up these points.



About Tejal

Hey There! This is Tejal Kutarekar. I am a Certified Life Coach and Entrepreneur by profession. Writing is something that is therapeutic for me. I love spreading self-awareness about emotional and mental health with the help of writing and composing poems. I am pleased to bring out my inner passion of guiding through writing with the help of the Empath to Empath platform. See you all soon with my content there.


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