Updated: Jan 15
Do you ever feel like you have everyone and anyone coming to you with their problems? Looking for advice, to rant about their relationship or just to complain about work? I do, I always have and I have never really understood why. Friends used to say to me "why does everyone come to you?" My response would always be "I just have that face I guess". For years I have had multiple people at a time come to me with their problems and I have always been that shoulder to cry on. I've had times when I have abandoned family time and ran out to tend to friends in need and at times I have felt their emotional pain. I have never understood why. Until now.
Through lockdown, I have noticed that I have felt less anxious. The world was asked to quarantine, stay away from friends and family to protect each other from this devastating virus COVID19. This was a breakthrough for me. Suddenly I was furloughed, homeschooling the children, locked in a bubble with my immediate family and I had no choice but to stay away from other people. I struggled the first two weeks, the vivid nightmares were intense and it was a major adjustment being stuck home with two kids who were bored and restless.
I have always been a reader, I love books and have a queue of about 40 to read, mainly novels. I started to read books on spirituality after some years practising yoga. These books highlighted how life and society can make you forget the important things in life. Friends, family, love and laughter. I researched spirituality via social media and had a realisation that explained my feelings of anxiety. That I had empath traits. I had no idea what this was, so I discussed it with a spiritual friend and she sent some literature which confirmed it was a high possibility. This turned my life around, understanding why I sometimes feel tense and bothered by other peoples' 'stuff'.
I have discovered a new me, (well to be accurate I have discovered the real me). I never thought that I was creative, and yet I have transformed the garden. The joy from growing vegetables and plants is amazing. I started to learn Japanese, just because I had the time. My home was decorated and feels so fresh and new. I discovered that deep in my soul I am a happy person. I am not 'feisty' or 'aggressive', which I am so often labelled because I am assertive and passionate in my beliefs.
The best thing about discovering you are an empath is that now you can learn how to channel your energies and understand why sometimes you feel off centre. You can see clearly where the issues are in your life and start to look at your true friendships and what they bring. Do people just use you as an emotional punchbag to serve their needs? Suddenly you start to look at life differently and then you realise that although you have these traits it is time to protect your energy and maybe take a step back from certain individuals who no longer serve you.
This is an intense emotional time but the tips below will help you to align your energy and relax you. Empaths are great people. They are here on this planet to do a worthwhile rewarding role. However, you must identify if you are taking too much on. It's important to practice self love and 'apply your own mask'. This way you can be the same person but you are not absorbing negative energies you encounter.
I know now that self love is not selfish, not in the normal sense of the word. It is a must, a medicine you need to protect yourself from outside sources. You need to be at your best for those around you, as they feed off your positivity. Take a look at the tips below, and start practicing self love today.
#lockdowninspired Tips for Empaths and self love and care.
1. The art of the word no.
This can be challenging, it’s hard not to succumb to the needs of others. Saying no sometimes is required so that you have adequate time to concentrate on your needs and tasks. Don't drop things constantly for people. This is where you must be watchful, because people can feed off your energy and drain you. Saying no is not a bad thing, you need time to keep yourself aligned.
2. Meditate This is imperative, meditation brings you back to your centre. No one can enter your energy system here. Find time each day even if only for 5 minutes. This needs to be your time, your space, your energy cleanse. There are beautiful uplifting meditations which help, such as the heart tap, sun gazing or simple seated meditation. Sit back, close your eyes and let your thoughts come and go like clouds. Let them pass, and remain in your inner peace. Check out our meditations on Facebook and Instagram.
3. Embrace your hobbies, do what you love. Do something you enjoy. Paint, write, walk, yoga - anything that makes you happy and you enjoy. When you are happy your body produces endorphins which is your 'happy hormone'. This will raise your energy and make you feel more positive and settled, it gives you a break from problems of life so many of us face. Ensure you have at least one hobby you enjoy that you can do alone. Give yourself as much time as you can allocate and have some time to align and cleanse your energy.
4. Water Empaths are happy in water. Immerse yourself in this amazing element as much as possible. I have found water in particular to be extremely helpful. Run a bath with your favourite scents, candles and immerse yourself and relax. Find the beach (if you can or are lucky enough to live near one), a lake or a stream. Water is relaxing, to sit and be watchful or close your eyes and listen to the sounds. Bliss is found by or in water. For general health, ensure you have regular in-takes of water each day to keep you hydrated and comfortable. You will have a clearer energy and feel revitalised, plus it is a major health benefit.
5. Concentrate on all round health Your wellbeing is important, and you must take the time to eat well, sleep and exercise. Being an empath can be tremendously draining so ensuring you take time to improve your health is essential. When you are healthy you feel positive and aligned. Eating healthier, sleep and exercise boosts not only your physical health but your mental health too. The best form of exercise for me is yoga, but that’s just me, yoga for me has opened so many doors and helped me to be fitter, stronger and more flexible. Cardio workouts are a great form of exercise too. Sleep is needed, because when you are rested all things are clearer, you are less irritable and grumpy. Get those zeds in to feel more positive and healthy.
6. Set boundaries This is a crucial tip. You need to keep your energy as positive as possible. This means setting boundaries. If you are that family member or friend that drops everything for just one call, or stays on the phone for hours on end and find you have started to feel drained and lethargic, then chances are you have absorbed too much outside source energy.
You must set healthy boundaries to allow time to do simple things that relax you. Leave your phone on silent or turn it off. Phones have an incredible function of do not disturb. This is my god send. My DND is set from 22:00 and is on until 09:00. This gives me ‘my time’ when I truly feel I need it. The boundaries are important - set them!
7. Negative people - be gone Probably one of the biggest and hardest things to combat. Certainly in my experience. It is time to assess those around you. Once you step back and look at those in your life, you may find you start to see real signs of toxic people. Empaths are extremely sensitive to emotions and energies of others, so to be around negative energy will take its toll on you emotionally and physically.
The signs you need to look for come in different forms, and may not appear to be harmful, but to the empath they can be detrimental to your well being. Life is life, you cannot avoid every negative person. This would be unrealistic, but you can protect your energy with these tips. The best way to combat the constant surge of negativity is to look at individual relationships and friendships and even acquaintances. Ask yourself, do I feel good around this person? Does this person uplift me? Is our relationship a two way street? Does this person want me to win? Would they help me if I needed them? Also ask yourself, do they only contact me when they are in need? Do they ask about my thoughts, feelings, hopes and dreams? Do I feel respected? All significant questions. And if you get a lot of ''no' back then sadly you have work to do.