Tejal Kutarekar ©
"There are people who bring you down by just being them." - Malebo Sephodi
Are you fed up being around toxic people the way I was? Then you are on the right path with this curation.
Sometimes we choose to be around toxic people, knowingly or unknowingly. Sometimes the situations and circumstances choose us to be around toxic people where we feel helpless by thinking there is no other option than being prey to toxicity.
Have you ever thought about how toxic peoples' behaviour, views and opinions impact us emotionally and mentally in an adverse way?
We feel stressed, irritated, tense, frustrated and agitated. Ultimately, this toxicity hinders the quality of life. Toxic views, opinions and behaviour shake up our thinking pattern, belief system, mindset and inner core personality in a negative way.
Hence, I decided to sit and jot down a few points that would help us all make our choice to stay away from toxic people easier.
Let's start then...
1. Build A Solid Wall Around You
This wall is nothing but our strong identity among people, our dentity after working on inner strength. Sometimes our good nature is taken for granted. We get bullied by other people when we show our vulnerable side to unworthy folks.
Therefore, develop a strong urge for setting up an 'identity wall' that would protect you from falling prey to the dirty games of toxic people.
How about raising your vibrations rather than lowering your standards?
2. Self-Respect Is Your Priority
"You need not lower your standards just because others can't raise theirs."
If you don’t respect yourself people will probably not respect you. Do not try to please everyone. We often try to make everyone happy to feel validated, approved, liked or loved. This trap backfires many times.
Set a healthy boundary for every bond and when you feel somebody is crossing that boundary, this will be the point to stand up for yourself by being vocal and straightforward about what has been bothering you.
Maintaining clear communication, putting forward your point transparently, setting a healthy boundary and being vocal about your concerns, would help people know their set limits. Perhaps many of them will not even dare to cross the limits set by you once they know how firm you are about those healthy boundaries.
3. Learn To Move On Rather Than Clinging
I want you to ask two questions, and come up with genuine answers given by your inner soul.
Do you really need to acknowledge every person's presence in your life? What they are contributing to you?
Not every person contributes something in your life that is good for you. Recognise these alerts well in advance to plan how you can deal with unwanted people diplomatically. It would be the best idea to think about those bonds that are no longer serving the best in your life.
We often forget to set up filters in our physical life that would separate unwanted people from us by keeping genuine connections. The same goes with the amount of information we encounter every day. We usually take in all the information that is bombarded on us by the outer world without filtering and verifying whether the information is true, valid, holds any practical grounds or not. We forget to have a reality check system in place.
Hence it's a conscious habit of setting up filters in our minds as well as in physical life to keep genuine people and discard fake ones.
4. Rise Above All Toxic Mess!
What better to ward off toxicity than growing and progressing in your life by making room for what matters? Our actions speak louder than our words.
Choose to stay focused on your self-work and your self-development regime. Growth is the best revenge, right?
"You don't ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn't matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance - you don't have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It's one thing if a person owns up to their behaviour and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and continues to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go!" - Daniell Koepke
5. Mental And Emotional Wellbeing Is Crucial
Toxicity is so impactful that I have seen people living with ugly memories and experience of toxicity for many decades. This makes us believe that whatever self-limiting beliefs we have made in the brain are true. It becomes worse when these self-limiting beliefs start to take control of our lives. Creating the toxic loop of thoughts is a natural process of human thinking. But when to exit this loop and how to step out of it is totally in our hands.
Therefore, sit back, have a panoramic view of your life so far by minutely observing the details of your life patterns. This helps to eradicate most of the unwanted stuff from your life. This helped me and I am sure will benefit you as well.
Let's accept that we can not control who comes into our lives, we can not control some situations and circumstances of life, we cannot always have good people around us but we can choose to control what actions we can take towards challenges thrown by toxic connections. As I always say:
"It's time to declutter your life by knowing the people worth your love, time and effort. Make room for those who genuinely want you to grow so that you could touch the sky with your empowered wings. You are complete in yourself, you are enough, you are unstoppable, you are unbeatable.
You are your best company. You don't need anyone to feel loved, approved or validated. You don't need anyone who makes you feel alone even when they are with you. You don't need anyone who will make you feel happy and content because happiness is within you - contentment is within you.
You don't need bonds that suck out your glow, your charm, your mental energy. Restore those bonds that were genuine but you abandoned and trash those bonds who abandoned you mentally, emotionally and physically. Let go of the emotional baggage, the guilt attached to the mess of toxicity. Be minimalistic with healthy connections. Say with me, 'no more toxicity!' - Tejal Kutarekar.
Thanks for sticking around till the end! See y'all soon!
Hey There! This is Tejal Kutarekar. I am a Certified Life Coach and Entrepreneur by profession. Writing is something that is therapeutic for me. I love spreading self-awareness about emotional and mental health with the help of writing and composing poems. I am pleased to bring out my inner passion of guiding through writing with the help of the Empath to Empath platform. See you all soon with my content there.