By Salinda Therik ©
Feel Abandoned? Broken Hearted? Betrayed? Disappointed? Hurt?
I have good news for you! You are not alone and you can overcome it! I have experienced this feeling and here I am today and able to share one of part stories of my gratitude journey.
God is the first to forgive us
As a believer, I believe that our God is a forgiving God. He is the first to forgive our sins and trespasses, and He reminds us that we must learn to forgive one another, too.
My Self-Compassion Affirmation:
I accept my failures and mistakes
I acknowledge my weaknesses.
I learn from my past experience and turn it into valuable life lesson.
I forgive myself and repent.
I am willing to change and grow.
I move forward and face my tomorrow wisely.
I am a living proof.
According To Psychotherapist, Shana Olmstead, MS, LMHC:
Forgiveness has been shown to elevate mood, enhance optimism and guard against anger, stress, anxiety, and depression. Carrying the hurt or anger of an offense leads the body to release stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol. Eliminating the perpetual flow of those hormones also explains why forgiveness provides physical health benefits, such as lowering the risk of high blood pressure and heart problems.
Judge not, and you shall not be judged: condemn not, and you shall not be condemned: forgive, you shall be forgiven.
Through my past experience, I learned that we can’t change what has happened, no matter how difficult and how much we might want to.
Well everyone makes mistakes, but learning how to learn from these errors, let go, move on, and forgive yourself. It is important for mental health and well-being.
Forgiving people who have hurt you can be challenging, but forgiving yourself can be just as difficult. It is important to remember that learning how to forgive yourself is not one night process, it takes time and never simple or easy, but working on this form of self-compassion can convey a number of possible health benefits.
In addition to reducing stress, depression, and anxiety, self-forgiveness can also have positive effects on your physical health and relationship.
It Is Like Dragging A Bag Of Rocks With You Wherever You Go.
Holding onto old hurt, or anger or resentment is like dragging a bag of heavy rocks with you wherever you go. Each time you feel offended, there goes another rock into the bag. That jerk that cut you off on the freeway, there goes a pebble, your annoying co-worker who is so frustrating, a bigger stone, and you found out that your partner that never loved you the way that you deserved , it is a huge boulder.
This feels justified a lot of time. Of course, you are mad and hurt and frustrated when someone “wrongs’’ you. Of course, there are more difficult cases, and if you are dealing with trauma or abuse. In this case, these rocks can feel permanent and unmovable sometimes.
How Could You Ever Move Forward With The Difficulties Of The Past Weighing You Down?
1. By taking responsibility and accepting that you have engaged in actions that have hurt others, you can avoid negative emotions, such as excessive regret and guilt.
2. Understand that making mistakes that you feel guilty about does not make you a bad person or undermine your intrinsic value.
3. One way to move past your guilt is to take action to rectify your mistakes. Apologize if it is called for and look for ways that you can make it up to whomever you have hurt. It may seem as if this portion of the process benefits only the person you’ve harmed, but there’s something in it for you as well. Fixing your mistakes means you’ll never have to wonder if you have done more.
4. Everyone makes mistakes and has things for which they feel sorry or regretful. Falling into the trap of rumination, self-hatred, or even pity can be damaging and make it difficult to maintain your self-esteem and motivation. Forgiving yourself often requires finding a way to learn from the experience and grow as a person. To do this, you need to understand why behaved the way you did and why you feel guilty. What steps can you take to prevent the same behaviors again in the future? Yes, you might have messed up, but it was a learning experience that can help you make better choices in the future.
From Me To You:
Make Your Journal Of Gratitude.
List down all the things that you are grateful for and you may use it as a reminder whenever you are feeling down.
Have A Conversation With Your Inner Critic.
Journaling can help you understand your inner critic and develop self-compassion. This can help you identify thought patterns that are limiting your ability to forgive yourself. You can also use journaling time to make a list of the qualities you like about yourself, including your strengths and skills. This can help boost your self-confidence when you’re feeling down about a mistake you made.
Focus On What You Learned And How You Grew And Be Fruitful.
Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past so you won’t get stuck where you are. When your focus is on the past, it is too easy for you to feel sorry for yourself or to focus on your regrets or to think that your best days are behind you. Worst of all, dwelling on your past can make you feel unthankful for all of the blessings in your lives, especially the blessings you have in the present.
You Are Blessed, Forgiven, Loved, And Matter.
Despite of whatever happens in your life, good or bad, believes that everything happen for a reason, either it is a blessing or a lesson. Yes, you might needing time to heal and to forgive, but don’t forget to enjoy every process and be grateful for the progress you made. Appreciate and be kind to yourself.
“Learning to forgive others also means learning to forgive ourselves”. - Salinda Sadukh Ekha Therik
My name is Salinda Sadukh Ekha Therik. I was born in Bali, Indonesia in March 1992 and raised by a truly multicultural Indonesian Family, with influences from Bali, Sulawesi and East Nusa Tenggara. This cultural diversity taught me from a young age, how to respect and love diversity. I love the Beauty, Hospitality and Wellness Industry very much! I started my journey 11 years ago and ever since I've enjoyed the journey and see the progress of who I have become I am today. I do believe life is about continued journey to learn, share our experience and knowledge, and should be impactful. As a woman, I believe in the power of women empowerment. Celebrating other women's success makes your light brighter and creates a culture of empowerment that everyone will benefit from. To be empowered and to empower others, it is very essential to know how to deal with our mental health and wellbeing. This is something serious and everyone should aware and talk about it. Therefore, I choose to share my thought and feelings in regards to Mental Health and Wellbeing.