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Writer's pictureMarcus Dupuis ©

Empathic Sufferance

Marcus Dupuis ©


About Marcus


Marcus is the Founder of The Elemental Living Group and the developer of Relaxation One. He is the Translator of “The Art of Listening to Life”, a certified Mindfulness Coach, Life Coach, a Breathing Coach, and Ted Talker.

Marcus has been leading workshops and lecturing for more than two decades. He is a Consultant, accompanying People though Big Life Changes. Using and teaching Breathing Exercises is part of the system that he has developed over the last 30 years. He has studied with great Masters in the world, lived in Ashrams (quiet retreat centres in India) learning about Yoga and more specifically Pranayama Yoga, which focuses on breathing and the various effects that breathing exercises can have on our body and mind. He has studied the world’s great religion in University, run corporations, walked the high plains of the Himalaya, and climbed Great Pyramids.


Marcus has been dedicated to the path of personal growth from an early age. He has decades of research and development in his work. He shares his discoveries in his writings, his website and in The Elemental Living Group. Relaxation One is the starting point in self-discovery and understanding.


Breathe Deep My Friends


 


We are all empaths!

How can we confirm that we are all empaths? One way to see it is to look at the success of movies like “Jackass” or “America’s Funniest Videos”; where people are seen hurting themselves and experiencing pain. Why are these programs viewed by millions? Because we share the pain of the person in the movie or video. We can’t help ourselves… we feel their pain. On a side note… We are sophisticated sensing machines, we are here to Feel!

When a person falls to the ground hard; we wince, we react, we feel something in our own body. Yet the fall is happening to someone else, and on a TV screen or monitor. It is not our pain, but we feel it. This is an empathic reaction. Much of the news that affects people in a deep way, is based on the same idea. We feel other people’s pain.

A person who can feel empathy for someone’s situation is valuable. We are social beings, and we need to share our story with others. No one is safe in isolation. We need each other.


The empath who is able to empathize/sympathize with what a person is going through, is of great help to the person suffering the experience. The receiver of empathy appreciates the understanding and the presence of the person who is there for them. However, if the empath takes on the distress and the emotions of the other person’s experience, this can throw them off balance. The supporter now needs support from someone else!

The extroverted empath is able to be there for the person who needs support and understanding without absorbing their feelings and emotions. The ‘extropath’ helps a fellow human being, while maintaining their centre and remaining in a balanced and fulfilled state.

The introverted empath is also there to support and assist someone through a difficult situation, but they absorb their anxiety and emotions. The ‘intropath’ takes on the pain of the other. They internalize the other person’s suffering and experience it as their own.

While the ‘intropath’ is helping someone get through a difficult situation, they are damaging themselves by experiencing the internal disturbance as their own. This does not serve either person. The person going through the suffering does not need to see their empathic friend go through their pain. They need a helping hand, some soothing words, they need the perception that they are understood and accompanied. They do not need to empathic friend to feel their pain in a direct way.

The ‘extropath’ is helping someone get through a difficult situation as well; they are there for that person in the same way. However, they maintain a support role and they do not take on the emotions directly into their own experience. The ‘extropath’ can help more people and maintain their own energy levels. The “burnout” factor is further down the road, if at all!

Now we are all affected by someone else’s pain to a degree, and even a well balanced ‘extropath’ will need to rest and recharge at some point. The ‘intropath’ needs to retreat sooner, which means they cannot be available for many people. The ‘extropath’ can help more people. This is important for people who work support roles. Nurses and various therapists fall into this category.

In my upcoming book, “I Feel Therefore I AM”, I will cover the deeper definitions of sociopath and psychopath, but in this article I wanted to address the subtle difference between the two types of empaths.

There are ways of maintaining an even keel as an empath. There are systems and techniques for not taking on emotion that is not ours. This has nothing to do with ‘being cold’ or ‘removed’, this has to do with channeling energy. Just like energy is channeled down a wire to power a light bulb, a power tool or your computer…emotional energy must be channeled as well.

The introverted empath is not doing anyone favours by internalizing and feeling the emotions of others. While their kindness and attention is appreciated, there is no reason for them to inflict suffering upon themselves.

It is all about managing and channeling energy in a beneficial way; a way that benefits the whole collective, while keeping the collective strong, balanced and fulfilled.

Breathe Deep My Friends,

Marcus Dupuis of Elemental Living


 

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