by The E2E Team
Okay question time.... who has
A six pack?
Perfect teeth?
Defined arms?
Good pecs?
Piercing eyes?
Who is happy with...
Their height?
Their weight?
Their hair?
Their endowment?
Who they are?
I bet the majority of you don’t and aren’t. Now another question...
Who is conscious of certain parts of - if not all - their physical appearance
I bet there are many who answered yes!
As men, we are taught to quit moaning, or we don’t talk and express feelings or insecurities.
For years, advocates for women's rights have expressed how wrong it is to identify with being the perfect woman; being compared to the model, the actress, the singer or social media influencer. Society has directly forced its opinion on what a woman should look like. Well guess what? Men feel the same.
Men suffer insecurities. We often feel we are compared with Greek god-type men, and we have all seen movies with guys who have manhoods well beyond the average. Men can feel just as insecure as women, having to live up to these “perfect specimens”. Admit it or not, some women - not all - are just as judgemental as men when it comes to the opposite sex.
We live in the real world, we haven’t all got the time to workout everyday, have our meals designed for us and have the genetics to look a certain way.
Men have insecurities about...
Feeling slightly overweight
Having hair in crazy places
Losing their hair
Going grey
Not having perfect, gleaming teeth
Overthinking over arm size
Being too skinny
I could continue but this subject is vast and complex. The point I’m making is men feel insecure and it’s tough to deal with as we can be made to feel like we can’t express our emotions. These insecurities lead to low levels of confidence and self esteem which affects our personalities. It may be masked with quietness or even acts of over-confidence to cover our feelings. They can really impact on choices we make.
Personally...
Unless on holiday, I will never take off my top in public.
I will cover my private parts in the shower after playing team sports
Only recently have I worn short-sleeved tops
These are just a few examples of how I've been affected in the past. I go to the gym and know I’m not in bad shape, but I have built unrealistic images in my head of how I should look. In my life I have been called too fat, too skinny, too muscular and normal lol. However I look, someone has an opinion.
So what do you do? You can’t please everyone.
Your responsibility to you...
What you do is be comfortable in yourself. If you are overweight or underweight, recognise this and consult with a clinician to ensure your health is maintained. If you want muscles on muscles do it, get yourself to the gym and build your body in a healthy way. Your body is yours and it can be whatever you want it to be. Just make sure you are happy with it and most of all, healthy. Don’t let people, media or any else make you feel any less than you are.
Stop comparing yourself to others
Stop listening to negative comments
Speak out about how you feel
Embrace your body
If you are unhappy, do something about it.
If a comment upsets you, tell the person, deal with the emotion and let go
Tell yourself you are beautiful (or a stud, whatever works) - positive self talk is key
Your responsibility to others
Be aware of others and how you make them feel. Think how it will impact their thoughts on who they are.
Think before you speak
Understand others feel the same
Be a sympathetic ear
Regardless of gender we all have feelings - please don’t ignore them. We are in a new world and it’s okay to say how you feel. People who care will understand. For me the biggest thing in all of this is to love yourself... everything else will then fall into place.